(Excerpt from The Wild Romancer © 2008
by Brenda Cobb Murphy
What do you do with a wife that is madly in love with Jesus? What do you do once He has captured her heart, locked His gaze with hers, and danced with your bride? You have two choices. You can join her and the life she has chosen with Jesus, and your life will change forever. Or you can choose to not be a part of it. If you do not join her you will be miserable. Either way you will be ruined. To join with her is to be ruined for the ordinary, and to refuse is to be ruined as an equal mate for your wife. The one option you will not have is to ignore it and hope it goes away. The experiences, revelations, and truths in this book have transformed both of us. Within a two-week period we each entered into this new relationship with Jesus. Some of you, after reading this book, are thinking that our lives must be “special” or different. You are wrong.
Life in the Murphy house is pretty much the same as in your house. We have one son now living on his own and two teenagers, one of which has just gotten a driver’s license. Living with a dog, a parakeet, and fish means that, like everyone else, the dog throws up, the scum builds up in the aquarium, and there are seed husks and feathers everywhere. We have bills to pay and problems to solve. I work full time 75 miles from our house, and we have a ministry together. Did falling in love with Jesus deliver us from the mundane? No, it simply put the mundane into perspective. Are we all healthy, wealthy, and wise? No, we get sick, break bones, and try to figure out how to pay for the things we need and want. We still do incredibly stupid stuff, mess up with God, and have to repent. Brenda’s book is the result of life, everyday life, but with the intimate presence of Jesus.
So how does a man relate to this book? How does a man also fall madly in love with Jesus? For me, it was the desperation of failure that finally allowed me to begin my love affair with Him. Christianity failed me. Where is the victory? Where is the power? Where is the difference between my unbelieving next-door neighbors and me? I reached the point of just chucking it all. We were both brought up in Christian homes, had worked in ministry together, and been active in our church, but my inability to “do the stuff” of the New Testament overwhelmed me. I was not able to effect change in any situation I encountered. I am talking about supernatural God-change. Then Jesus stepped into my life in a completely new role.
That is the only way I can explain it. His role in my life changed. We began to share personal things. He went from being my God to also being my Friend. And He didn’t stop there. He wanted us to become more intimate than friends. More familiar with each other than the best of friends are. More open, honest, and trusting than even some spouses. Yet, Jesus is a man’s man. He is a warrior, manager, counselor, trainer, and public speaker, all with the endurance of a trained athlete. I strongly suspect that you would not beat Him at a round of golf. If you think that last statement was inappropriate, then you do not know my Jesus.
How can I be madly in love with Him? Because He is real and down-to-earth. He is not a passive, hands folded, serene looking, lacking-in-personality God. He is dynamic, involved, decisive, and current. And He hates to lose.
For a man to be completely in love with Jesus in a very personal and real way, he is required to step out of the worldly environment and culture. He must be able to imagine dancing with Jesus without going into a homophobic panic. This can only be done with the help of Holy Spirit. Mike Bickle says in his book The Pleasures of Loving God, “Many men think that understanding the bride of Christ undermines their masculinity, but just the opposite is true. In fact, the revelation of the bride will establish it. To be a man who lays His head on the Lord’s breast and receives His embrace will set your heart ablaze.”
Brenda talks about using your imagination and letting Him fill it with His reality. That is how I enter into intimacy with Jesus. Most of the time it is still in the context of a “guy thing.” But sometimes I imagine dancing with Him and sometimes I am overwhelmed with love for Him. Holy Spirit stands ready to jump in once you turn the key and begin to crank the engine.
Holy Spirit also releases you from your hang-ups, not all at once, but gradually, as you keep trying and practicing. He, in essence, helps you lower your handicap. (Appropriate golf analogy and interesting word, don’t you think?) The one thing I cannot figure out is being part of the Bride. But, technically, that is His part. My part is simply to get to know Him better and better. In getting to know Him better and in getting to know people who know Him better, I have discovered one advantage men might have over women. We men generally do not go through an infatuation stage.
There are people, okay, mostly women, who have a “teenage” type of love for Jesus. They have been set free from the restrictions of “religious relationship activities” and have fallen madly in love with Him. But some seem to get stuck in the infatuation stage and never move on to the mature love that enables couples to get through both the good times and the bad times together. I am extremely blessed. I not only have a wife who is madly in love with Jesus, but Brenda’s love is a mature love, tested and proven. She is able to have her head in the heavenlies, her feet on the ground, and her heart in His hand.
So what does it look like in our house? It looks like your house-chaos, dirty dishes and laundry, meals to be cooked, grass to be mowed, a new toilet seat to be installed, and so on. What is the difference? We will not have to be introduced to Jesus when we finally reach home. We will recognize Him by His appearance, His voice, His scent, and His very thoughts towards us. We will know Him. And in this life we must continue to seek to know Him and the power of His resurrection. What choice do we have? He alone has the words of Life. What tender, loving words they are. My favorite ones? “Terry, let’s go play!”
