JESUS, T.J. MAXX, & REAL LIFE

I have a confession to make. I can’t resist buying socks, no matter how stuffed my large drawer is (dedicated wholly to socks). I don’t care about trouser socks or cutesy socks with bright pictures. I want thick, beautifully woven, hiking-socks kinds of socks. You know, like Timberland or Frye or Bombas. And in case you don’t know it yet, TJ Maxx is the mecca of socks (since I can’t afford to pay full price for my obsession).

It was with that in mind that last October, a week before foot surgery, I went to check out their stash of just-stocked winter socks, knowing I wouldn’t be shopping again till spring.

Soon the young employee and I began geeking out over our love of socks. When she found out I was having surgery the next day she asked if she could pray for me. Soon we were standing in an aisle passionately talking about Jesus.

Since then Emma has come to visit me many times (occasionally joined by her younger sister Anna). We spend hours talking about Jesus, running out of time long before we get through.

Life is full of adventure and gifts, but not always something pleasent or what we would choose. I had another foot surgery 8 weeks ago, and next week I might be allowed to walk five minutes out of every hour. Three weeks ago my mom had a reaction to some new meds and has been hallucinating and confused, believing herself to be back in Thailand. It has been a rough road but she seems to be back to normal.

Whether it’s from finances, relationships, health, or our children, life is rarely flowing along smoothly. The question is, how do we handle those bumps?

Recently I saw a leather journal with handmade pages a friend had bought, and I immediately ordered one for myself. (I’ll put the link below if anyone is interested.) I knew exactly what I wanted it for. I have been copying my Jesus-thoughts into it, and I love rereading them. Just looking at my leather notebook delights my heart, reminding me of Jesus.

There are times when I begin to feel fearful (can my mom recover from this blow to her health?), stressed (why does this person keep texting me angry texts?), or just tired (how many times a day do I have to crawl up and down these stairs to do laundry?). When I feel negative emotions I choose to immediately turn my eyes to Jesus. It brings an instant change.

We don’t just gain peace and it’s permanent, never having negative thoughts again. It might get easier but it won’t be gone until we leave this fallen world. I might need to run to Jesus many times a day but he’s always there ready to hold me and lift me up.

Here are some thoughts to Jesus I wrote during a trying day.

I hear myself say that I’m feeling worn, and I immediately turn my eyes to you and receive strength.
I hear myself begin to fear, and I immediately find your face and let you fill me with peace.
I feel overwhelmed, and one glance your way makes me smile.

I can get through life as long as you’re here beside me. But really, it’s not just what you do for me, it’s the fact that you’re here, you love me, and you are wonderful. I love you so much. It’s like having my heart divided into two, with the other half walking beside me all the time. Because only with you beside me am I a complete person. Only with you am I whole. I love that.

Here’s another one:

I love that you know my heart. I don’t need words and “prayer,” I turn my eyes to you and you know me. You know my wants, my needs, my fears, and who I carry in my heart. I look at you and you know it all. I don’t have to say one word. How peaceful that is. Thank you for knowing me, and for loving me even though you DO know me. 😁

It was a long day, I also wrote this:

As I walk the Journey of Today I catch sight of monsters hiding in the bushes. But my hand is clasped in yours and I just squeeze it tighter. They have no power over me because you are beside me. You are my protector, my shield, my shining one, and my strong tower. With you by my side I can laugh at the monsters and say, “See? I have nothing to fear. The one beside me is Conqueror, and he holds my hand.” Then I can turn my eyes straight ahead to the shining path before us, filled with love and safety.

I can’t wait to copy these thoughts down in my beautiful, leather journal. What are some things you do to turn your eyes towards Jesus when life gets stressful?

Leather notebook (I get nothing from this except the pleasure of sharing. 🙂)