When I set my goals and plans for 2020 I didn’t include foot surgery for a torn tendon. However, it has certainly rearranged the furniture in my life’s rut (though I was fairly happy with my rut). During the six weeks since the surgery I’ve experienced differing emotions. I’m filled with gratitude to my family and friends, who have brought food, carted me and my knee scooter around, encouraged me, and given me daily blood-thinner shots (the ultimate sacrifice, thank you sister).
I’ve been motivated to find new ways to perform tasks and entertain myself. I now know I can hoola-hoop with my good foot up in the air as I lie on the bed. You can see my first attempt at this HERE, five days after surgery.
I’ve been frustrated at my limitations, at being hovered over like I was an invalid or a child, and at being a lot of trouble for people. I’m fiercely independent and full of energy, and that’s not a good formula for six weeks of sitting in a recliner or on my bed, or for needing help from others.
However, this has been a good lesson in contentment. I live in my mom’s house as a companion and caregiver, so my space is my bedroom (plus a basement room, inaccessible at the moment). I live my life in my bedroom, though every afternoon you’ll find me in the kitchen making a latte for us. At first I sat on a stool with my foot on a second stool, but now I can stand up.
Recently I was sitting on my bed (where else?) when I had an “Aha!” moment. I suddenly saw my bedroom through new eyes. This is my tiny house. It’s 140 square feet. What can I do to make it the best home I can make it, so it’s a pleasure to live in?
I already love my room so it only took some tweaking. I switched out one of the bedside tables for a small desk and chair (don’t you love Amazon?). Having a birthday this month allowed me to spend some money guilt-free. I also got myself a set of wrought-iron bookends that say, “WRITER.” Now, instead of merely a bedroom to sleep in, it’s my living space, my tiny house, my Jesus retreat.
God has worked miracles for me. I hadn’t planned on renting a knee-scooter until I almost fell flat using my crutches in Starbucks (mortifying, to say the least). The doctor told me I may have cracked my wrist and get a scooter–NOW.
I texted my friend Chong on the way home from the doctor (after picking up the brace for my wrist), asking if she’d take me to Walmart “tomorrow” to buy a scooter.
The day before this, Chong had been praying and told God that she wanted to do something for me but didn’t know what, what should she do? God said, “scooter,” so the next morning, without mentioning it to me, Chong rented a scooter. She was on her way to my house to deliver it when I texted that the doctor said I had to get one. God’s love and provision floors me.
It has been a great opportunity to spend time with Jesus and to get my writing caught up, and I’ve done neither. You might think you’re the only one who struggles to make Jesus-time happen, or to do things that are important to you, but let me assure you that we all do (even those of us who write books about doing it). I look back on the last six weeks and wonder what I’ve done with my time. It’s (mostly) been happy things—catching up on my journal, lots of doctor appointments, reading, and playing a new game I discovered on my Kindle (thanks Jenn for introducing me to June’s Journey). I’ve learned to clean house and cook on the knee-scooter, living daily life rolling around the house.
No, I’ve not had great adventures with Jesus, or revelations, or awesome things to write about. However, I’ve enjoyed Jesus tremendously. We’ve laughed and talked and when I turn out my lamp to go to sleep I curl up with a smile on my face, as that’s one of my favorite times together.
Not every moment has to be filled with deep relational effort in order to be quality time. A relationship includes times of rest, quiet, and just being in the same room. It includes the in-between times, where you and Jesus aren’t building and doing and focusing.
From the first year we were married Terry and I enjoyed long walks. Often we walked in silence, just enjoying each other’s company. What mattered was that we were together. That’s one of those “married-love” aspects of having Jesus as your Bridegroom—it’s not all fireworks and googly-eyes. You have the relaxed, peaceful moments of hearts smiling together.
I’ve been enjoying that during these weeks of life-slowed-down. The two of us, being together, in my tiny house.
Now, with everyone’s personal world having grown very small, we’re all slowing life down. May this be a season of peace for you. I pray you reach that place in your relationship with Jesus where the two of you can just be. No pressure to perform, focus, or grow—just occasionally glance at each other and smile. Those times in a relationship are also priceless.
