The most important thing here is to not go running away from the relationship merely because your physical body gets involved. However, that can be frightening and make us feel shame, or like we made the relationship “dirty,” or we get scared that we’re getting into something bad. However, even though it can feel this way, it isn’t something to run away from. As long as our hearts are true towards Jesus and we’re not wanting the sexual, then we can just take control of our bodies and change our focus.
Jesus never brings shame, condemnation, or guilt. He will gently and lovingly bring us back to center and help us learn to keep our physical bodies out of the mix. He understands and wants to help us. The physical is a human response and in the same way we learn to use our spiritual senses over our physical ones, we also learn to have a Bridegroom relationship in the spiritual.
Jesus pursues us passionately and lovingly, and in that context our body can join in, but there are ways to move away from that aspect of it. Jesus isn’t judging us for it unless we’re purposely choosing it. I had a woman write me saying she didn’t know how to not have sexual feelings for Jesus. Then she went on to tell me the sexual atmosphere where she was spending her Jesus time.
Jesus romances our heart. However, there are times when our body doesn’t react the way we want it to so we need to guard against getting too physically involved. The old saying is that you can’t stop a bird from flying over your head but you don’t have to let it build a nest in your hair. If your love for Jesus turns sexual then just stop what you’re doing and do something else that your physical body won’t react to. In the future just go with a different mindset. Choose to switch your mind from “this is sexual” to the romance of him wooing your heart.
For example, you can read this that I wrote to Jesus through a lens that perceives it as sexual, or you can read it through him spiritually romancing my heart:
Your eyes dance and sparkle
and Your voice is music to my ears.
Your arms are strong and powerful
while Your kisses fall delightfully sweet.
I drink Your presence like nectar.
The very mention of Your name makes me drunk.
Your love is as strong as the ocean waves but Your touch is as soft as a feather.
I feast my eyes on Your beauty.
Your fragrance is intoxication.
Your fingers drip honey as they feed me.
Only You can sustain me day by day.
Clear, sparkling Water; fresh, fragrant Bread
Spiced wine and honeycomb, choice fruits and nuts,
olive oil and cedar and pomegranates.
Everything beautiful, everything delicious, everything to be desired – that’s You.
I personally don’t imagine kissing Jesus because that is too sexual for me. He once kissed me on my cheek, taking me by surprise, but it was pure love, not sexual. The romance is Jesus holding my hand, sitting by me, walking and talking and eating, having fun, sitting in front of a fire in a cabin, telling jokes, even holding me. It is Jesus telling me how much he loves me and can’t wait for us to be together, the way he looks at me, his eyes, his laugh, the feeling he gives me when we’re together of how special I am. It is giving me gifts and showing me in a million ways how much he loves me, and me showing him my love.
The fact is that there may be times where your physical body responds against your will and if that happens don’t worry, you have done nothing wrong. Satan will, of course, delightedly use it to beat you up and make you feel bad, and by condemning yourself you’ve put the stick in his hand.
The physical is foremost in our world. We eat, drink, and breathe physical. Hence, the physical signs of intimacy get all mixed up occasionally with spiritual intimacy. If you let worrying about feeling sexually involved stop you from being with Jesus than satan has won. If you let condemnation or fear stop you from the beauty of your relationship with Jesus, than satan has won. If you let your physical feelings make you draw back from Jesus, than satan has won. The only way that satan doesn’t win is for you to go to Jesus and tell him that you don’t want your relationship to bring sexual feelings and you’re not purposely going there, so would he and Holy Spirit please help you deal with it the right way, and that you are not giving up your relationship with him.
Tell him you are still choosing to pursue him with everything you have and trust him not to deceive you, even if your body turns traitor. One of satan’s biggest tools (a close kin of fear, which is the biggest), is shame. To allow yourself to feel shame is to hand the victory to satan. Don’t do it, take it to Holy Spirit, He’s your tutor, he’s the one to tell you how to handle it. It may not even happen anymore. Again, we are so quick to run to satan when something goes wrong (as in condemning and pulling away from God). Why not instead, when things go awry, let them send us running into God’s arms?
Jesus loves you so much and he’s not worried about your physical reactions. He can handle it. He’s not judging you, he’s so proud of you and that you love him so much. He knows your heart.
While we should hold back from doing specific things that lead to sexual feelings, we should never hold back on our intimacy and pursuit of Jesus. It is merely our flesh reacting to something that is real from God. Look at the fruit that comes from your relationship with God, how your heart is crying out for more of him. How you are being changed in who you are because of him. How you have more compassion and generosity and love for others because of him. I can guarantee that if you hang out long with Jesus you will be changed.
