Hi Brenda,
So, here’s my answer to your question, what do I do with Jesus. The most important part of my walk with Jesus right now is conversation. Words are so crucial to me and always have been. To me, conversation is a heart-to-heart connection with people that I cannot get any other way. Physical touch is huge too but I love words. Words and physical touch are my love languages. They vie for first place. So, I would have to ask others, what is their love language? Because I can guarantee that Jesus will meet us where we can most receive love. Also, I would encourage others to realize that Jesus accepts them exactly where they are. I can’t emphasize that enough.
I know I felt sad for ages that I could not offer anything to the Lord. I also, felt awful about this, and still do about people in my life I want to thank but there is nothing on heaven or earth I could give them that would be good enough to thank them for all they do for me. So it is with Jesus. He’s done so much for us, and we’re just empty-handed. And it feels so soul-sucking and can really make you sad if you think like that, that there is nothing you can give the God of the universe because He has it all already.
Here is how I would encourage others who feel that way. Jesus has since shown me that He is already delighted with us. We don’t have to do anything to please Him because He delights in us just being us, because He made us and we reflect a facet of His light and character and that’s what He sees. What Jesus delights in most is spending time with us “just being.” Just being together, just savoring each other’s company. When you, as a person who believes in Him, simply turn your head or eyes to behold His face, doing that inwardly even, like – tuning yourself to be aware of His Presence – that’s what He just loves so much. He loves that more than anything else. Being aware of Him, just you and He looking at each other and savoring each other’s Presence – that THAT THAT. He loves that.
All you need to give Jesus is you. That’s what He died for. That’s what He loves – you. You don’t need to give him your actions, something you can do for Him, just yourself, who you are in that moment, the mess, the stress, the everything that is you. He adores you. And the gift of your heart and gaze is more meaningful to Him than we can possibly understand. I mean, just think. He died for the ability to be in our presence so that we could be with Him forever. He died for that. So, that’s what you can give Jesus. Just thinking of Him makes Him smile. Just looking at Him in your heart.
And if you cannot feel His smile or Presence when you look at Him in your heart, just tell Him that too. Tell him exactly how you feel, honestly. Share your heart, your frustrations, your pain, your loneliness with Him. Cry with Him. He will cry with you. You may not feel it, but you can know it is accurate. The Lord is near to the broken-hearted, especially the broken-hearted that want to give themselves to Him but don’t know how.
As to what I personally do with Jesus together, I am very simple so far. I don’t go on any adventures with Him yet. I’d like to learn how to do that. I live my adventure with Him in life, but doing so in my imagination doesn’t come naturally to me. I have to work at that. So, mostly, I imagine Jesus and I in scenes from YouTube. This is a helpful scaffold for my imaginative thinking.
And often times, I imagine doing “small talk” with Him. Like we’re having a tea party together. To me, that is incredibly meaningful, because I always thought as a kid that Jesus was too important to notice me. I mean, He’s God after all. I imagined Him like the President, too busy to notice a simple kid on the earth like me. When I realized that wasn’t true, having small talk with Jesus about nothing important became a huge favorite activity for me. Like Jesus saying, “How is your coffee?” As I sip an imagined cup of coffee in my hand that I see in the YouTube ambience scene I have playing. And I say, “Oh it’s delicious Lord! That cake you’re eating looks tasty! What does it taste like?” And He might say, “Oh it is, just like walnuts and honey.” Ha ha, this isn’t a conversation I’ve had but it’s similar to ones I do have frequently. We’ll just small talk. And it helps me realize God cares about the little details of life with me and doing small stuff that “doesn’t matter” but really it matters to Him! And that has blown me away. It makes me feel loved when I do that. I’ll often listen to the Lord as well listening to some nature sounds, but a picture won’t come to mind, just words. So I’ll listen to the words that flow into my mind and type those or write them down, but I often won’t see any picture at all. Sometimes, I have to ask Jesus to give me a picture, and when I ask, He always does.
