OUR POWERFUL TONGUE

I just got off the phone with a woman in the Philippines. She restored my website after I accidentally shut it down. To be honest, my heart sank when she answered, I needed real tech support, not someone with a flow-chart.

However, she did her best, and eventually (after consulting with someone else) my website was back up and running. We chatted as we waited on various things to happen. At the end of the conversation I asked if I could brag on her to her supervisor. I’m aware of what a struggle these jobs can be for people with whom English is not their first language. She was stunned that I would brag on her, saying she talks to many people all day and most are grouchy, no one brags. It took about three minutes for me to drop an email to the company saying how pleasant and helpful she was, but she’ll never forget it. She choked up, telling me twice I’d made her day.

One reason I love to brag on people is that during the time I worked at Walmart I wished someone would brag on me. I understand what it feels like.

I laugh every time I remember when I called to brag on the school bus I got stuck behind daily, driving my son to high school. The driver thoughtfully pulled over every little bit, letting us get by. When I called the superintendent’s office to ask who to call, she did a double-take, “Wait, did you say you want to BRAG on someone???” When I got the transportation department the woman’s response was the same, adding, “No one has EVER called to brag before!”

Remembering the joy of the Filipino woman this morning reminds me of the power in our tongue, both of life and of death. How easy it is to brag on someone or compliment them. We rarely forget the compliments we receive (or the negative comments).

We can give so much joy away, with barely a breath on our part. They come alive. I make their day. The Bible tells us to take every thought captive. To guard our tongues and to speak life, not death.

As much as I love speaking life over people, I can also struggle with speaking death. That sounds harsh and dramatic, but words that hurt, discourage, and tear down are death. Death to ideas, hopes, dreams, and futures. It is so easy to make someone feel small, invisible, or silly. How easily we can destroy someone’s future by being a wet blanket. That’s not to say there isn’t a time to gently point something out they haven’t yet thought of, but that is to be done in an edifying way.

I’ve never forgotten a story I heard a writer share when he was asked how he got started. In an early grade the teacher asked the class to write a poem. His wasn’t anything great but the teacher gushed over it, telling him that she wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t grow up to be a writer. After that he always believed he could do it.

Our words are born out of our thoughts, which can tell us quite a bit about ourselves, our viewpoint, and our attitude. If your words tend to bring death then look at the root of your words—what do you spend time thinking about?

We generally remember the compliments others pay us. One year, expecting our first child, Terry worked evenings managing the pizza place. I was desperately lonely and bored. One night an eight-year-old boy prank-called me, dialing numbers out of the phone book. Nathan Edward Brown made my day, along with paying me a compliment that even now, 38 years later, I have never forgotten. “You laugh like someone who smiles a lot.”

I have a challenge for you. See how many times each day you can speak life to someone. Even if you are not happy with them you can find a way to guard your tongue, or to express your feelings in a way that is productive or honest. It really isn’t that hard, and what generally costs you little can be priceless to someone else. Besides that, it puts a big smile on Jesus’ face.